Dude Looks Like a Lady!
by PartyInTheUK'sPants
Summary: College student, Naruto works in his Grandmother's gay bar for some extra cash. He's well known and liked by the customers due to his happy demeanor and cheerful smiles. One day, he gets asked out by a beautiful blonde haired woman. Naruto thinks he's lucky for managing to get her attention in a gay bar no less. Too bad for Naruto, Lady Luck just seems to hate him! YAOI DeiXNaru


**Party: Hello readers! This is a totally RANDOM story idea I had! Trying something new, hope you enjoy~**

**Warnings: OOC, Yaoi sex(boyxboy), AU, Dei being a transvestite, LGBTQ stuff, curses/alcohol, bullying, bad writing **

**Disclaimer: Of course I own Naruto! Hey.. wait why is my nose getting longer?!**

* * *

_"I heard that kid's grandma has a place full of gays..!" an obnoxious girl whispered loudly._

_"Ew! Wait.. does that mean he's a fag too?" her friend giggled, pointing at him._

_Others perked up and heard their conversation since their attempts to keep quiet were really quite effortless, "You mean that loud, new kid?"_

_"Always new something was wrong with him."_

_Naruto kept his head down as he walked timidly down the school hallway, "N-no.. I'm not.. She's just helping!" he said._

_"Shuddup, dead last!"_

_"Disgusting."_

_"I can't believe we have one of **them** in our school."_

_Tears dripped down Naruto's face. Why did it hurt so bad? They were people too right? But why was he getting teased for something his Grandmother did? She wasn't doing anything wrong. Why did they hate it so much? It wasn't his fault.. it wasn't..._

_"It's not my fault!"_

* * *

It was a normal day when it happened. Well as normal as working in his grandmother's gay bar could be.

He worked there since she needed an extra hand around the place and he needed pocket money. He was currently a student in college so it was only natural if wanted to get around. His grandmother's famous words, "Life is not free." Naruto shivered as he recalled that time when he made the mistake of asking for money, he had in turn received a bash on the head and was out cold. So anyways, that was why was now working at her gay bar.

The reason his grandmother had opened up her bar, Blue Diamond, was because she wanted a place where people of the LGBTQ community could drink, relax and party. She wanted them to have a save haven or a 'sanctuary' as she called it. That was why Naruto actually liked working for her, her intentions were pure and just wanted to make people feel happy and safe. So, -Naruto guessed-, he could put up with her punches and drunken curses.

Blue Diamond had many wonderful customers, regular and loyal or interested new ones. There were probably two reasons for this. One being that the place was just gorgeous. The outside was made of cobble stone wall with violet cornflowers that grew almost hiding the structure. The sign Blue Diamond hanged in the front in big, blue neon letters. The inside had a friendly almost warm feeling with dark turquoise walls and dim yellow lights. THe black marble floors led to the back of the bar where there was huge glass replacing the wall that had a lovely view of a garden and the pool. In the bar was very simple, the counter and stools for the customers and many kinds of alcohol and liquor on the shelves. There were mahogany tables and velvet couches scattered around the room and a dancefloor with pounding music and blinding, rainbow lights.

Putting the lovely bar aside, the second reason for their busy bar was because of Naruto himself. Before, the bar had few people coming in, shy and nervous for it being their first times going to a gay bar. But after one day when the blond happened to pop in, begging his grandma for money with huge, teary puppy eyes, more people started to come- that's when it got way to chaotic for Tsunade and two of her employees to handle alone. The customers immediately loved him. He worked as their waiter, serving them with a friendly smile and soft blue eyes that had 'acceptance' written in them. He joked with them, talked with them, laughed with them and just smiled and declined politely when some tried to ask him out. The regulars all new he was straight as an arrow, but that never stopped them from trying.

**X**

"Naruto! Throw away that garbage will ya? It's starting to smell.." a pale blonde woman with big breasts slurred.

Naruto sighed, "Yes, yes.." he really didn't want to deal with a drunk Tsunade. He scowled a bit at her, bartenders weren't supposed to be drinking the alcohol that they were supposed to sell right? He grabbed the white bags and heaved them over his shoulders with a dramatic sigh and began walking slowly to the backdoor. Seriously what did Tsunade stuff in these, bricks?

"What's wrong, Dickless?" a pale boy said, "Work too hard for you?"_  
_

Naruto glanced at him and huffed, "Don't call me that, Sai. Just drink then leave." he puffed his cheeks up and sauntered to the back exit making some the guys laugh a bit as he resembled a duck as he wobbled trying to balance two trash bags on his shoulders. Sai was one of the first customers they had and wasn't afraid to flaunt his gayness wherever he went, that being pretty obvious in the way he flamboyantly dresses. With his skin tight tank top cut short enough to expose his paper white stomach. Not to mention black leather pants. I mean, who dresses like that?! Despite his slightly cold and mocking attitude, retarted social skills, annoyingly fake smile and perverted advances, Naruto guessed he was an alright guy. For the most part they joked around and talked when Naruto was on breaks. The blond especially liked Sai when he brought him his sketchbook to draw, jokingly saying he was almost tolerable when he drew.

Sai managed to swipe a grope at the blond's ass.

Well of course until he did _that_. Naruto squealed indignantly and turned bright red as he muttered curses.

"Ouch, Sai. If you keep doing that, he'll end up hating you!" a man with a beard laughed.

Sai looked at his hand in wonder, "Soft.." he said.

They barely noticed when a figure followed the blond.

**X**

The blond exited the loud bar and into the silent, cool, night air. Naruto grumbled as he rested the heavy trash on the ground, "Stupid Sai...pervert..." he wiped his hands on his black slacks and gave a relieved sigh as his shoulders were free. He rolled them in attempt to soothe the slight soreness._ If carrying garbage bothered me that much, maybe I should work out._.. he wondered absentmindly. He flexed his arm and frowned a bit. He sighed a bit as he put his hands on his hips shaking his head in disapproval, _Even if I do work out, I won't get any big muscles._ He thought sadly. Once he worked out in the gym, lifting weights and running on treadmills like crazy, yet he never saw any difference. He whistled as he opened the lid to the dumpster and lifted one out of the two bags into the bin. He was so focused into shoving the bag into the dumpster, he didn't notice when the door opened silently.

"Um..." a quiet voice called to him.

Naruto dropped the second bag to his feet in surprise and nearly yelped. He turned to the voice and tried to slow his racing hearbeat, "H-huh?" his sky blue eyes widened at the sight and he tried to calm his racing heartbeat, for another reason.

Standing in front of him was a tall figure with long blonde hair that reached her slim waist. Her hair looked soft and golden in the moonlight, making her skin look almost ethereal. She had on a spaghetti strapped black dress with little red clouds and fishnet material covering her exposed arms and neck. The silky dress ended a little before her knees and long, high-heeled boots covered her legs, ending under her knees. She had a red shawl to protect her from her slight breezes around her shoulders. A lone midnight blue eye outlined in eyeliner peeked at him from under the strands of hair that fluttered in her face. She had a nervous blush a her pink lips glistened.

"Naruto.." she said quietly, smiling a bit.

Naruto watched her with wide eyes. _H-how does she know my name?_ He felt ashamed that he didn't know hers. She was so beautiful.. Naruto blinked at her rapidly as she stepped closer to him, heels clicking on the hard pavement as she walked. _Wait.. I have seen her around._. She always sat in the front, quiet and only had one drink and left quickly right before his shift ended. He had only served her a couple times before and the bar was always packed so it was no wonder he'd forgotten. He remembered that they talked a bit. The blond strained his brain to remember what.

"I need to tell you something." she asked him, getting even closer until they were an arms length away. Her eye was then filled with determined nervousness as she fidgeted with her dress. She glanced at him before surprising Naruto again and bowed.

"What are you..-"

"Please go out with me!"

_He had seen her several times before but never served her. He found her extremely beautiful and had made his breath hitch in his throat. Since no one came to her, he decided to take the initiative, "I've never seen such pretty woman around here before! I'm Naruto by the way." Naruto giggled happily. Maybe.. if he was lucky, she was straight! She was kinda tall though. He pulled out his notepad, "What can I get you then?" he said with a friendly smile, noting that she seemed a bit nervous._

_"J-just water for now, please. And I'm Deidara." she said smiling back. Her face was lightly flushed._

_"Okie dokie!" she was so pretty! He felt giddy inside. He pondered on the strange name._

_"Oh! And...um." he turned around to her again. She was twisting her hair in her fingers. Then she looked at him and grinned._

He was so lucky! Such a beautiful girl asked him out! Wow, this was great. Naruto smiled, "Y-"

_"I'm a man."_

Naruto felt himself physically deflate. Wait what? Is that why his mind forced him to forget about her? Because she was actually a he?! He felt himself almost hyperventilate. He was about to say yes! He pressed his back to the dumpster, ignoring the smell, "U-uh..." he forgot about tranvestites. And apparently this one!

The long haired blond looked up at the noise. Her- his eye looked so hopeful. He reached out and grabbed Naruto's hand with his own soft ones,

"Please... I..." blond hair cupped his face perfectly, billowing onto his shoulders from the breeze.

His hand shook in Deidara's warm hands. True he liked the blond before, but that was before he knew that she was a man!_ What should I do? I've dealt with gays before but not_... What should he do? She looked so nice and sweet but.. _I'm strictly straight_. Naruto thought. I have to say no. He glanced away from him uncomfortably, "I'm sorry.." no he couldn't go out with any boys. He made a promise to himself that he would only work in his Grandmother's bar only for work and that was that. If he didn't then it would be bad! Just like that time..

Deidara looked up at him with a frantic eye, "W-what? Why? Can't you give me a chance, un? I..I..!" his clutch on Naruto tightened.

"I can't! I just.. " Naruto bit his lip, not meeting the others eye.

"But you don't..! You haven't!" Deidara's voice was pleading, he couldn't understand how the other could just flat out reject him without a reason.

Naruto ripped his hand out of the others grasp harshly. He didn't want to live through this again! Why didn't he understand? "I can't! I'm not like you! Maybe you know what it's like living like that, but I don't! I'm not going to go out with you, it's disgusting!" Naruto yelled without thinking. Deidara's protests ceased and his arms dropped to his sides.

_"Disgusting.."_

Naruto panted and hesitantly looked up. And he instantly regretted what he said. Deidara looked beyond crestfallen. His bottom lip was trembling and his eye was welling up with tears. He looked so sad, so pained, heartbroken. As if someone just took his heart out and stomped on it. He stumbled backwards like he just got shot. Deidara didn't look angry, just really, really sad. He turned around slowly and ran out of the alley, heels clicking with every step.

"Wait!"

Naruto unconciously stretched his arm to the disappearing figure. He stood there for the longest time, fingers reaching to a non-exsistent person. He recalled what he said to him and his heart constricted painfully in his chest. The feelings of guilt and regret hit him hard like a torrential flood of realization. The blond slumped to the ground, his own eyes welling up with tears. Why did he say that? Deidara looked so hurt!

"I.. I can't believe that I.." it's like the past just took over him, he wasn't thinking when he shouted that. He just didn't want the past to repeat itself, he was scared. He brought his hand to his mouth and he became sick and ashamed at himself. He became the very thing he was afraid of.

He had just _hurt_ someone.

* * *

**Party: poor Dei and Naru :c**

**Sadly, people who aren't part of the community get bullied just as much as people who are just for being friends with them. I should know :c**

**Kids can be cruel. It's a mean, mean world out there. But luckily there are people who love you 3 just the way you are :D -me lol**

**I decided to do something else besides humor so this is a big step for me. Maybe its Drama or Angst.. not sure. Should I continue? **

**There just isn't enough DeixNaru. :c They're so cute together.**

**Just so you're not confused, yes Dei is a transvestite but is also gay which means that he sees himself as a guy but just likes to crossdress as a girl. :) There are many different types of transvestites. **

**If you're confused on Dei's personality so far, don't worry! It'll change when he and Naru ...do ...things... heheh . he needs to be shy first though. Cmon, a shy Dei is pretty cute, ne?**

**One more warning to make sure you didn't forget, THIS IS YAOI BOYXBOY not GIRLXBOY. If you don't like this or any LGBTQ GTFO ... please :3**

**Don't say I didn't warn ya... oh and flames will not be tolerated !**

**Reviews?**


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